Judgmental Giving (Blog Post#6)

Observe: In class we watched a clip of one of Brené Brown's Lifeclasses with Oprah. In is she says that if we cannot ask for help without judging ourselves then we can never truly give help without judging the people we are helping. 

Reflect: As a social worker this sent my brain flying! After graduating I want to work with children to help them improve their confidence and to work through any challenging events they might be facing. This clip made me fear that I would be judging the very kids I so want to help, so I quickly started going through every memory I had of asking for help and also of giving back. Naturally, the first memories that came back to me were of times when I gave help. Then I began recalling the times when I asked for help. One moment in particular stands out in my mind I am actually quite proud of. I never thought I would be proud of myself for asking for help, but looking back it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. My parents were divorcing each other (for the second time) and at the same time I was having some serious problems in my relationship with my then boyfriend. I decided that I needed someone to talk to and I sought out a counselor. She really helped me establish boundaries with everyone in my life and her constant validation left me with the very pleasant sensation of feeling normal, for that I will be forever grateful. This memory thrilled me because it was a time that I asked for help and didn't judge myself for it in the slightest. Now I'm not perfect and there have been plenty of times when I struggled to ask for help, but this moment let me know that it was possible. I can request help without judging myself and I can give help without judging others which means my minor freakout was not needed. Although, I am glad that it occurred because it gave me time to reflect on this memory as well as others.